Friday, March 12, 2010

Premarital sex

An interesting blog I came across:

Perplexed about Premarital Sex?
These reasons aren't enough, to have premarital sex.

1.My friends are doing it
You are not your friends. You have your own identity.
2.It would be cool.
When you want to be something you arent, you are Wannabe Kewl not Cool.
3.I would lose my partner
If your partner cant respect your decisions, you ought to dump the partner.
4.I dont want my friends/partner to think I could be gay
Better be thought a gay, then be in a closet and doing things you dont want to.
5.What if I die tommorrow?
Why are you terminally ill or verrrrrry old? Well I do know there could be a tsunami or earthquake or a terrorist attack. And you could be an unfortunate victim.But we dont yell at our Boss thinking what if I die tommorrow, or spend everything in the bank thinking what if I die tommorrow.
6.Its seem so great in the movies
People jump from tall buildings and never get hurt in the movies.
7.I feel bored
Get a hobby
8.I feel lousy now perhaps I would feel better after sex
10 minutes afer sex you are probably going to feel lousy too. And if you dont really want to do it, and have sex just because you think it will make you feel great, you are just expecting too much and perhaps will end up feeling lousier.
9.I have the money and someone needs the money.
Its unethical and illegal (Yes I Know you Know).
And those who get caught never thought they would get caught.
10.Porn feels good, sex should feel better.
Looking at an icecream advertisement is not the same as eating a melted icecream. Things could get sticky and yucky too. And you might not like the flavour.
Those in the ads, are paid to look as if they are enjoying it.
11.Someone hot and popular wants to do it with me!
Chocolate is great, but 15 minutes after having it, you are not going to feel great. Its never worth it if you really dont want it.
12.I want to blog about it or talk about it
Read couple of other blogs which are on it, and blog. None would know the difference. Or better blog about something different about you. If talking about it, is the reason for it, or if thats the added advantage, well generally its supposed to be personal....
13.The magic of unknown.
If thats your only reason, ask yourself, if your are going to stop after it becomes known. The best thing about the sex doesnt lie in the first time. Then people would do it only once:)
14. I have done it in the past
15.Kissing, Oral Sex etc are not the same as intercourse.
Yeah of course they arent. But whatever the nature of the sexual act, dont do it for the wrong reasons
Whats enough? Well if you really want to do it for yourself and after you have considered the Premarital Sex Checklist
1. Spontaneous maybe fun, but definitely not at the cost of safe sex. There is nothing romantic about unplanned premarital pregnancy, HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.
2. Dont rely on peer knowledge, better to get the doubts clarified from a doctor.
3. Be prepared also for the possibility of a seperation in future. If you are having sex, kissing, oral sex etc, only in the belief that the person will marry you , well why not wait a few more years. If these activities, make you feel vulnerable and if you think you will not be able to emotionally handle, a seperation later, dont.
4. Never have sex just to prove your love. This is just a form of emotional blackmail. The partner can always " prove the love" by going for a socially recognised method of "proving love".
5. Look around before exposing or indulging in sexual activities. One of the key ingredients of the Jalgaon scandal which happened some years ago was women being duped in the name of love, and recording the act and then blackmailing into doing more , with the video.
6. Be prepared for police raids if you are doing it in a public place and not your home (Check TOI on the number of people caught in "cola bars"in Gujarat and cyber cafes in UP etc).
7. Dont allow yourself to be photographed while doing something or while exposing yourself , by mobile cameras etc (Do I have to explain why??)
8. Oral sex is Medium HIV risk. Kissing can be a risk if you have open wounds. This is just for HIV, if you are so keen on having sex, do a basic research on other Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
9.Even if its just casual sex, think of the consequences if your future life partner gets to know about it. Think if you would be able to face any problems created due to this.
10.Also worth a check : The age of your partner and if the partner has another jealous "partner" or a family member with homicidal tendencies

So this concludes the post on premarital sex
For both the chromosones, xy and xx
Its really not very complex
But better, to exercise these mental checks.

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